{"product_id":"certified-moisture-free-towel-hughe-jasole-survival-series","title":"Certified Moisture-Free Towel – Hughe Jasole Survival Series","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"175\" data-end=\"210\"\u003eAbsorb nothing. Survive everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"212\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eCrafted for the driest environments and driest humor, this sand-toned towel is part of Hughe Jasole’s essential gear drop. Woven from 100% cotton and zero sympathy, it’s perfect for field wipes, lore cries, or just hanging ominously in your bathroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"640\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"527\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"466\" data-end=\"527\"\u003e“Certified Moisture-Free Since 10191” boldly woven on front\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"528\" data-end=\"565\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"530\" data-end=\"565\"\u003eAbsurdly soft, deceptively brutal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"566\" data-end=\"603\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"568\" data-end=\"603\"\u003eLarge enough for full-body regret\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"604\" data-end=\"640\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"606\" data-end=\"640\"\u003eHughe Jasole approved, worm tested\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"686\"\u003eUse responsibly. One wipe may be too many.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White base \/ 28\" × 16\"","offer_id":50807237312806,"sku":"33100857482003505685","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0959\/5555\/0502\/files\/12675360394709711669_2048.jpg?v=1752915258","url":"https:\/\/thenuthousemedia.myshopify.com\/products\/certified-moisture-free-towel-hughe-jasole-survival-series","provider":"Nuthouse Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}